Teens are the canary in the coal mine for what’s going on in a family. They’re full-on emotion and intuition. They don’t censor themselves, so they can be great teachers to all of us. Be curious about what they’re saying, even if it comes across in a harsh or dramatic way.
For instance, if your daughter says, “You never let me go anywhere. You don’t trust me,” ask yourself, “What’s true about this statement? Why don’t I trust her? Is it her friends? Did she lie to me?” Then figure out how to rebuild the trust. Her feelings usually point to something that needs attention.
Many of us go to great lengths to avoid making mistakes,and feel ashamed when we do. We forget that making a mistake is something we did and not who we are. If we learn from them and make amends to others when necessary, they are valuable learning tools that can actually increase our level of confidence and connection. Recovering from mistakes requires a sense of trust that we will be forgiven and loved even with our flaws. This creates real relationships and a sense of acceptance and relaxation.
The perfectionist culture we live in today (especially in Marin County) puts tremendous stress on teens. Often they are driven to participate in too many activities in order to compete with their peers for acceptance to the right college and don’t have time to rest, play or integrate what they’re learning. While it’s positive for them to reach their full potential, balance is essential and teens need room to try different things to discover who they are.
Why We Love Nature – Spring Break 2017
There’s a theme to our vacations – NATURE! Whether we’re in Nuevo Vallarta swimming in the ocean or hiking in a national park, we’re out absorbing the negative ions. To have a break from screen time, our phones often stay at home. We leave behind the narrow focus of being in our heads and get into the expansive quality of being in our bodies.
Nothing supports this more than moving and breathing fresh air. A new place opens our minds and our experience of life expands. Being in the ocean or on top of a mountain gives us that momentary relief of being small in comparison to the vastness of nature. In this environment, problems fade and worries disappear.